From Survivor to Overcomer ( #Share1toSpare1)

I understand you feel like I am so done talking about domestic violence ( #DVAM2016). The abused should just leave. It’s not that easy most people that are killed due to domestic violence are killed when they are trying to leave. Another reason it’s difficult to leave is financial abuse. That happens when the abuser keeps all debit/ credit cards, cash and does not allow access to finances. I have experienced financial abuse. When I left, I had to leave my debit card and checks. I was fortunate that I did my banking at a credit union that was open seven days a week. So I went to the credit union and got a new debit card and put a stop payment on my checks. I alerted them I was leaving a domestic violence situation.

They say it takes seven attempts before an abused person leaves the relationship. In my case, I have been in three cases of abuse relationships and each one I have gone back to repeated times. I have a ton of excuses for why I have gone back emotional reasons, financial reasons being in denial about the abuse. Policies that allow the wage earner gap, women make 77 cents for every dollar, a man makes. Continuing to allow that system supports domestic violence.

I thank God that I can talk about my experience, some women are no longer here to tell their story. Some women killed their abuser out of fear and had been displaced from one hell to another. Yes, so domestic violence survivors have fought back. I apologize that I may not fit some people’s definition of the perfect domestic violence victim. Yes, I have hit and bit my abuser(s). Yes, I have been the first one to start hitting. Yes, I have been verbally, and emotionally abusive. Yes, I am have even taken it on my children and been abusive to them. Despite all that God believes I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am not a Bitch (Thanks, Family Member, and abusive ex’s). I am not a Whore (Thanks, Family Member(s) and abusive ex’s). I am not a Stupid MF, I am not Dumb, I am not Fool (Thanks, Ly Syin, Family Member, and abusive ex’s).

I am blessed not to have physical scars from domestic violence, but I have the mental and emotional scars including PTSD. I suspect at least one of my children has PTSD. I do regret that. God can and will heal us!!! #Cyclebreaker
I am healing it’s been a long time coming. Life Lessons from Domestic Violence, # WhyIStayed, #WhyILeft and answering the question “ When is it okay to hit?”



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