When I was a little girl, my grandfather would read the bible to me. I remember him reading the story of Job. I like Job even thought the story seemed depressing. Job lost everything except for his mind, his life, and wife. When Job lost his children, his livestock, and health, he still praised God. In 2003, my favorite song was Praise is what I do. In reality, Praise is not what I do. I murmur and complain. I know I would not be strong as Job. In my situation now I tell the bill collectors I have lost everything but my mind and my health. Some days I think it would be easier to lose my mind. Then I would not have to feel guilty about the financial mess I am in.

Being a person who murmurs and complains, when I was diagnosed with alcoholism my thoughts soon turned to why me. When the engine blew in my car while I was homeless in Atlanta. I asked God why.

This summer I was fired from job number three this year. Last month I lost my apartment that I considered my home. I finally accepted that I could not afford to keep my car. My song lately has been I need you now. I know my situation is not that bad. I still have my health, my mind, my children and when I left my apartment this time I was able to get my belongings.

After a period, God blessed Job with even more than he had when Job lost everything. My friend shared with me she felt I would be like Job, that the latter part of my life would be the greater.


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