We went to Kansas City with my parents to celebrate my oldest daughter’s birthday. My parents where aware my oldest daughter wanted to ride the train. We took Amtrack ( Missouri mule) to Kansas City, Missouri. My Dad told me before we left it will be a trip to remember. He was right.
On Sunday morning my youngest daughter wanted to go outside after being on the train all day Saturday I could not blame her. We walked around Crown Center and watched a wonderful water display. I am fascinated by water I guess because water can be powerful or peaceful. As we watched the water I thought when we were in Atlanta and we would go to Centinnal park on Sunday morning. I wondered how many homeless people hung out there. I thought I should be thankful that my parents would take my daughters and I on a trip.
Then we walked back to our hotel room and my grandma made a comment about how I combed my youngest daughter’s hair and then I got defensive. I began my tirade you don’t have nothing better to do than talk about my short comings all my other cousins have a homes and a life. I’m the screw up so just talk about me.
When I calmed down I realized that If I had all the stuff my cousins did I would spend less time with my grandma and parents because I would be too busy doing other things. Spending time with them would not be important me. Maybe God allows me to stay poor materially so that I can be rich spiritually. If I had money I know I would not be concerned honoring and spending time with my parents or grandma.
I told my oldest daughter all weekend God is trying to build character he doesn’t give us things our character can not handle.
A couple of weeks after the trip I realized I am still holding on to un-forgiviness. That is why my relationship with my parents is strained and it is difficult to accept help from them.